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The Sinusitis of my Heart

My head feels a little heavy like it is filled with a fluid which sloshes about as I move. The doctor calls it a sinus problem. While that may be scientifically and medically true, I have a different idea about it. For once, I can now describe to you how it feels to be me. I have been living with acute and chronic sinusitis, except its not sinusitis at all. You see, there was always this thing that was in my head - up to the brim, which determined how I lived - often swaying about as it made me, like a crazed animal.

I have always said that I am a quantitative person, but I've been surprised by how much I've let the qualitative aspect of myself affect me in the past few years. Just to be clear - my brain is quantitative, and my heart is qualitative. And hard-core evidence, from the scientific way, has led me to believe that decisions taken by my quantitative centre have a significantly higher success rate. And I like that. So then, why were the qualitative juices creeping into the top? Why did the whims of my heart fill me up to the brim, clouding my thoughts and flooding my processes? Its processes are haphazard, the outcomes uncertain, and any success it gets can be easily explained by flukes or the law of averages. So why in the hell did I even allow it near my brain, let alone mix them together? Anyway, I've pulled the plunger. Or that's what I think. If I hadn't, I'd have drowned in my heart's fallacies, its idiocy, and its recklessness. The sinusitis of my heart is about to be cured. And I am going to cure it by draining it.

See you on the other side.


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